One of the Most Important Things I've Learned from my nearly 70 years is the key to good relationships - even though today after 12 plus years of Gang Stalking/MOBBING the fondest desire of my heart would be to get away from people and live a Thoreau type life.
The key to good relationships between people as well as nations, I think, is the mutual satisfying of needs and wants.
I saw an illustration of this in a program on HGTV I watched recently. The wife wanted an electric fireplace. The husband hated electric fireplaces, but because he saw how much his wife wanted it, he supported the idea.
The wife wanting to meet her husband's desires because he cared about hers/having an electric fireplace, got the money to surprise him with a dream "lift" in their garage to help him work on cars which he so enjoyed.
People/countries have needs and wants and the key to harmony between them is having respect for what they want and what they need, the mutual meeting of needs and wants.
Equally important is realizing "mind reading" what they need and want involves a lot of projection. You have to ask them/listen to what they need and want.
But, of course, when you are dealing with narcissistic sociopaths - Dick Cheney was the one who had a hand in starting Government Gang Stalking - they only think of their own wants and needs - and treat other people as a means to their own ends.
Such people are the source, from my perspective, of many of our problems.
I suspect there is one error in my thinking. And that problems are in-the-between. It seems my life has always been dogged by narcissistic sociopaths. In the beginning of it there was my father. Then the neighbor who moved next to me - the fireman who started my Gang Stalking. And on a national level Dick Cheney who came to power and played such a role in surveillance programs under Bush.
The thing I think I have never learned is how to handle narcissistic sociopaths. I have always tried to just cut them out of my life. In family systems therapy I think, they would call that - emotional cutoff.
But what I have found is no matter how hard I try - they keep popping up to harm me.
Since we can't eliminate narcissistic sociopaths, I think we collectively - if we are to have a better world - have to figure out how to deal with them. Our forefathers, I think, gave us a clue on a national level with the idea of checks and balances. And, evidentally, having secrets like America's State Secrets Doctrine, gives them free rein to do untold damage.
But I think this is really one for psychologists to solve. How do you deal with narcissistic sociopaths?
I imagine part of the problem is to stop labeling and to look at them as people with needs and wants. And then to talk to them - ugh!!!!!
My attitude today is let someone else do it, solve the world's problems, how to live in a world with narcissitic sociopaths. Right now I just want my Thoreau type life.
But I think I've figured out the source of a lot of problems. Only it will take our experts on mental health, psychologists, to teach us how to solve them.
The Enlightenment Thinking which inspired many of our forefathers thought of people as "ends," as having natural rights.
The New World Order Thinking which inspires many of our current political leaders has gutted the Bill of Rights and thinks of people as means to the economic ends of world corporations. To understand this you have to watch what our leaders "do" rather than what they "say."
If we're satisfied with this, programs like Government Gang Stalking won't bother us.
I-It relating is totally subjective. The I looks at everything in relation to their self. Their desires and concerns are a barrier to real meeting. There is contrivance and hypocrisy. Imposition characterizes I-It Relating as the I tries to impose their views, their wants on the other.