Maybe all your illusions are intact so you haven't noticed we live in a mad, mad, mad world.
However, if you have realized what is all around you is chaos - then perhaps the books I am reading might appeal to you.
Reading now - Lack and Transcendence by David R. Loy.
Reading next - The Folly of Fools: The Logic of Deceit and Self-Deception in Human Life by Robert Trivers.
Police, Firemen, EMS, Ambulance Drivers, Security Guards Gang Stalk/MOB Ordinary Citizens With Our Radicalized Neighborhood Watch Groups (who use conspicuous surveillance/RED cars and trucks, RED bikes, RED strollers, wearing or carrying something RED).