I’m reading The Denial of Death by Ernest Becker (read it a long ago but don’t remember it). Next I’ll read Escape From Evil and next the books of Otto Rank (which I also read a long time ago) and maybe some books of Norman O. Brown which I never read.
This all came about when I put my 19 year old dog down. I think like most people I had denied death which I hadn’t seen happen to someone close to me in about 40 years. Then now at 71 I came face to face with it in putting down this dog who was our constant companion for 19 years.
It only hit me after I did it (putting a dog down is such a common thing, right?): I caused his death.
Okay. What’s death? And so after I had stopped reading with the zen belief - truth, the map is never the territory - I’m reading again.
You see, I am just like the Gang Stalkers, who I will talk about in a moment – a human being who deep down feels powerless and helpless, a creature who will die and turn to dust, like the countless plants we see shriveled and brown on the ground. That’s what nature does to us. We have this thing called a personality which comes prepackaged as genetic inheritance and then is sprinkled with lots of conditioning from family, culture etc. – and then puff it’s gone. Where’d we go? Where’d we come from? What the hell is this all about?
So I read. It’s what I’ve always done when I’m lost and maybe hurting. Tell me oh wise psychoanalysts, psychologists (their answers rather than religious ones always made more sense to me), explain to me the mystery of being, this painful, scary thing that is our lives. Tell me what death is.
Now the Gang Stalkers, the group I am most familiar with having been Gang Stalked since 2006, it seems to me don’t look to books for answers.
They lose themselves in the group. This is what Becker says about that
“In the transference we see the grown person as a child at heart, a child who distorts the world to relieve his helplessness and fears, who sees things as he wishes them to be for his own safety, who acts automatically and uncritically, just as he did in the pre-Oedipal period.”
“Perhaps we could even say that men were all too willingly mystified by hypnosis because they had to deny the big lie upon which their whole conscious lives were based: the lie of self-sufficiency, of free self-determination, of independent judgment and choice. The continuing vogue of vampire movies may be a clue to how close to the surface our repressed fears are: the anxiety of losing control, of coming completely under someone’s spell, of not really being in command of ourselves. One intense look, one mysterious song, and our lives may be lost forever.”
Thus explains the lure of celebrity culture. Tell me what to do, what to value, who to be and I will worship at your altar – movie star, sports hero, billionaire, war hero – explain it to me, save me, instruct me.
We repress our desire for uncritical obedience which Becker says is present in everyone. We desire to merge with power figures. We helpless, powerless creatures that we are, food for worms, need to subject ourselves to someone – stronger, wiser, more self-confident. We want to blindly follow the parent – oh no I mean – leader, abandon our egos, identify with their power.
We are horde animals who need a leader so we can strut our passive-masochistic true selves.
Thus, we need authority figures, to participate in their omnipotence, to revive the oceanic feeling of safety that we enjoyed when we were loved and protected by our parents.
In this spirit George Floyd called out for his Mother as we all do when we Gang Stalk, join a movement, are so happy for a strong leader.
It is this need of our helpless/powerless/food for worm souls for power, a savior that knits members of a group like Gang Stalkers together.
Natural Narcissim Becker says – the feeling that the person next to you will die, but not you – is reinforced by trusting dependence on the leader’s – (Mommy’s) – power.
In group behavior – like Government Gang Stalking – anything goes because the leader okays it, Becker tells us.
And so, he concludes, we understand the terrifying sadism of group activity.
Now, I'm not a socialist or a New World Order person (a term invented after he lived) like John. But I do think we've all got a seat on the Titanic, and we're going down, folks, and this is most likely all there is.
Puff and it will all be gone. How does that affect how you live?
P.S. - And as for animals don't have consciousness - I think that's wrong. When my dog was losing his physical powers he was afraid, he seemed terrified. He barked and barked/calling for mommy. And I put him down. So much for mommy saving us.
Life Is Absurd
Putting statues around a dog's ashes silly? Oh, come on, in an Absurd World, you get to do anything you want if it makes you feel better. The picture of dogs with wings flying around Doggy heaven is coming. Ha! Ha! Ha! Though I think Camus has the right idea. The trick in an Absurd Universe is not to try to feel better, but just to enjoy your misery etc.
I'm half through with the Denial of Death. Wondering about the author's ideas about how to transcend our own creatureliness. I don't think we can. We're born with the instinct of self-preservation which evolves into ego. Yes, we can form our own values and try to live by them, but I think Ego/self-preservation always wins out in the end - nature. And then we live with guilt. We aspired better, but our animal nature always wins out in the end - even though our rationalizations try to convince us otherwise.
I Think I've Got It!
What I have been trying to do since I put my dog to death is understand death. Toward that end I have been reading The Denial of Death which I think I will stop reading today because I think it misses the mark. Psychology is, it seems to me, all about the ego. And I think that's the problem - and you can't find the solution in it.
I also think this solution which I woke up with this morning (love the unconcious which works on problems while we sleep) - is the oceanic feeling:
That's the pre-ego feeling we had when we were one/or felt ourselves to be with mother before the differentiation of the ego.
I think some might get that feeling in different ways - in meditation, for instance, or in an early morning walk by the ocean when for some precious seconds you feel one with the universe. That's the answer - and I might be reading some people who know that in the future - mystics, for instance, or maybe not. I might eschew words/those symbolic tools of the ego which we use to differentiate things - and go for the feeling itself in meditation.
Wondering if any books have been written about the oceanic feeling.
When you think of it - the lack of it may be the source of many of our problems. The cop who shot the black man may have done so because he was afraid. Fear - not feeling comfortable in this world - may be the opposite of the Oceanic Feeling.
The oceanic feeling is the antidote to the fear of death because it isn't about an isolated thing that dies - it is the feeling of limitlessness - of encompassing all. And to think that was our feeling before the development of the ego.
Anyway, I'm an introverted intuitive feeling judging type so this kind of topic turns me on.
I think this is the answer to the problems of man/people - We Forgot Who We Really Are. We are pre-Ego beings. And regaining the oceanic feeling is our way to feel - BETTER!
Why do we often get the Oceanic Feeling At The Ocean?
Because of its similarity to Amniotic Fluid of infant/with mother?
Is there a connection between music and the oceanic feeling?
The Enigma of the Oceanic Feeling by William Parsons
Cosmic Consiousness by Richard Bucke
Meditations having to do with the Oceanic Feeling
The Mystery of Life - This Constant Transformation
Where did we come from?
How The One Becomes Many:
"A zygote is the union of the sperm cell and the egg cell. Also known as a fertilized ovum, the zygote begins as a single cell but divides rapidly in the days following fertilization. After this two-week period of cell division, the zygote eventually becomes an embryo. If this goes well, the embryo becomes a fetus."
We Are Really Information:
"Heredity, Genes, and DNA. ... All organisms inherit the genetic information specifying their structure and function from their parents. Likewise, all cells arise from preexisting cells, so the genetic material must be replicated and passed from parent to progeny cell at each cell division."
Etymology of the word inform:
"Middle English enforme, informe ‘give form or shape to’, also ‘form the mind of, teach’, from Old French enfourmer, from Latin informare ‘shape, fashion, describe’, from in- ‘into’ + forma ‘a form’."
Psychoanalyst Donnel B. Stern: We become conscious of something when it is formulated, put into words. What is unconscious in us is unformulated.
"In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God."
Jesus was called "the Word made Flesh."
Daniel Dennett: Consciousness Arose From Our Words
"Eventually, words became the tools that enabled our brains to reflect on what they were doing, thus bootstrapping themselves into full consciousness. The 'meme invasion', as Dennett puts it, 'turned our brains into minds'. The idea that language had a critical role to play in the development of human consciousness is very plausible..."
And so the Implicate Order Becomes The Explicate Order:
Think of an image carried by a radio wave in an implicate order of undivided wholeness, as enfolded in the radio wave, and then being unfolded by a receiver, in the form of a new visual image.
"In the radio wave "the context or meaning that is enfolded or carried is primarily an order and measure permitting the development of a structure," said physicist David Bohm.
The order of the whole is what is transmitted in the signal that modulates a radio wave.
"Such an order and measure can be 'enfolded' and 'carried' not only in electromagnetic waves but also in other ways by electron beams, sound and other countless forms of movement," David Bohm, the physicist said.
Bohm used the word holomovement to describe undivided wholeness being carried. Thus, the implicate order transforms into the explicate order.
Life - a Flux of events and processes - a movement of electrons, protons and neutrons under certain conditions creating and maintaining structure while under different conditions dissolving it.
From dust to dust. Seeing through a glass darkly.
A long time ago when I read the books of Rollo May, I remember him saying - Consciousness is always consciousness of something. So I reason if there was just one thing in the beginning - the Singularity before the Big Bang - then it would be unconscious. In death does the many/us, our individual personalities - go back to the one - unconsciousness? As an introverted intuitive there is nothing that interests me more than the unconscious. We have our logical world, our conscious waking world where A is separate from B etc., however, in sleep, when we lose consciousness, A is equal to B - there is displacement (and condensation). In interpreting dreams we are all the things in our dreams. Are we just the dream of God - A is equal to B - with God playing all the parts?
Anyway, the picture arrived and it does make me feel a little better. Ha! Ha!
Ah! The Idea of Heaven For Dogs
In a book I recently read a Minster said she couldn't imagine coping with life without a belief in her religion.
Police, Firemen, EMS, Ambulance Drivers, Security Guards, Neighborhood Watch Group Members Have Been Gang Stalking/MOBBING Ordinary Citizens For Over A Decade In A PSY-OPS Program of UNREMITTING HARASSMENT And Conspicuous Surveillance (Using the Anchor/Color RED).